Here’s how you can let it go.
“You should be working right now. Why relax? You’ve done enough of that lately. You’re being lazy. You’re a slob. Besides, you’ve got SO many big goals you want to achieve. (Or at least you say you do.) Prove it. No? Okay fine; grab yourself a Fab lolly and watch the football, you lazy f*ck.”
There’s one thing I know.
I’m my harshest critic.
“Conversations” like this take place inside my brain on a regular basis. I know it’s not healthy. I know I should love myself and all that. So why do I do it?
Why do we do it?
And what can we do to stop it?
It Starts With Comparison
Toy Story 5 hit me in the feels.
No spoilers, but its basically about social media ruining the lives of kids.
Its release couldn’t be more fitting. Recently, the UK government announced that children under 16 will be banned from using social media as of next Spring.
No more TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, X… Heck, even YouTube isn’t immune.
Personally?
I think it’s a good thing.
Social media has f*cked us up.
I was chatting with a friend about Glastonbury — one of the world’s largest music festivals. He grew up living near this sleepy, Somerset village, so he’s seen first-hand its impact.
“It used to be a cool hippy thing that people went to,” he chomped, inbetween bites of chips. “But now it’s so expensive. It feels like mostly the middle-class go so they can post to their followers.”
It reminds me of this:
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Hoards of influencers will tell us beyond any reasonable doubt that the answer is no. You’ve got to capture the moment. You’ve got to build your “personal brand”. Blah, blah, blah.
So step out of the way, grandma.
I’ve got a #ad to make.
Can You Go 48 Hours Without It?
For as long as I’ve been following her, Venetia La Manna has run offline 48.
It means she doesn’t go on social media over the weekends.
No biggie, you might think. (And you’d be right.) But as a fair fashion campaigner with over 465K followers, Venetia’s challenge has gained momentum.
And people find it surprisingly difficult to do — myself included.
So much so, I’ve pre-ordered a “dumb phone.”
Dumb phones are basically what phones used to be before they got smart. You can make calls and send texts on them.
That’s about it.
The one I’ve ordered can also send WhatsApps and sync with my Android.
(So it’s actually pretty smart.)
Still, my hope is I’ll ween myself off dopamine and make fewer comparisons.
We’ll see if it works.
Of Course, Social Media Isn’t the Only Thing to Blame
Mainstream media has f*cked us up too.
Unrealistic expectations are everywhere. Pop culture. Politics. Sport. Anytime you think if I just work a little bit harder, there’s a good chance you’ve been infected.
What’s wrong with “only” making $34,000 a year? Nothing. In fact, it puts you in the top 1% of earners globally.
I know, I know; it’s all relative.
But still, almost half the world’s population — 3.4 billion people — live on less than $5.50 a day. I often spend that on coffee. (I’m an idiot.) And one in four — 2 billion people — still don’t have access to clean drinking water.
I don’t know anything about you or your situation, but if you’re taking five minutes to read my article from the comfort of your own home with a glass of OJ, trust me; you’ve hit the jackpot.
Soak it in, my friend.
You won.
Your Next 10 Years
If you’re under 25 and worried about “falling behind”, don’t be.
You could do nothing meaningful for 10 years and still be young as f*ck.
I first heard Gary Vee say this on a podcast. (I can’t remember when.) The irony of it coming from a man who rams hustle culture down the throats of millions isn’t lost on me.
Still, he has a point.
Why rush?
Do stuff. Try stuff. Fail at stuff. If something doesn’t work out — or even if it does work out but you decide you don’t want to do it any more — that’s okay.
I’ve done this time and time again. I pick up projects and then drop them on the floor when they no longer grab me. Podcasting. Football commentating. My newsletter.
You name it.
Will it mean I’m not as “successful” and make less money in the future? Quite probably. And does this make me a quitter? You bet!
But when did quitting get such a bad rep?
Quitting is wonderful! It’s a privilege. It means you got the opportunity to try something you always wanted to and then decided it wasn’t for you.
No big deal.
Pass It On
Now I know what you might be thinking. Scott, it’s easy for you to say. You’re only 30 years old. I’m 51. What the f*ck do you know about time?
I’ll put my hands up.
I know nothing.
But my gut tells me you older, wiser folks don’t have these worries anyway. You know it’s all arbitrary. All bullsh*t.
You learned decades ago that life is long.
So if this sounds like you, I have just one favour to ask:
Please go tell your 23-year old niece or nephew that of course it’s okay to have goals and ambitions and to want to leave your imprint on the world. (It’s a beautiful thing, in fact!) And you can still take your time.
We’re all running around like headless chickens down here.
We need to hear it.
Choose a Different Clock
Most self-imposed pressure comes from an arbitrary deadline: “I should have figured this out by 30” or “this should be working by now.”
Who says?
The pressure itself is the problem. When you’re anxious and pressured, you make worse decisions, take fewer risks, and move slower.
So really, letting go of pressure isn’t laziness.
It’s strategy.
Hit the snooze button. Have a lie in.
Life is way more enjoyable when you choose a different clock.
I’m not sure if the negative, pressurised thoughts inside my head are a bug or a feature — so this article is as much for me as it is for you.
Repeat after me: You have the power to let go.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Especially not you.